2 days til Christmas

I haven't posted in over a week! Wow, that's awful. As usual, we've been trying to do the Christmas shopping because like we do EVERY year, we've waited until the last possible minute to buy gifts! LOL We finished it up this past weekend. Thank goodness. And let me just say that the Grapevine Mills mall and Bass Pro Shop were TOTAL CHAOS!!! I couldn't believe how crazy it was. But, it's all done and the presents are wrapped and under the tree now. The boys have been eagerly trying to figure out what each box holds. It's funny because you can overhear conversations between them like "If you'll rip open that end, I'll look and see what it is!" Hilarious considering they're 2 and 5! They shouldn't be so well-organized yet! LOL The only thing left to do is making the cookies for Santa. We always do that on Christmas Eve. Once, that's done, we're set! YEA!!! I have so many emotions this year. I'm super excited because the boys are both so into the whole Santa thing. Of course, I got an early present and it was a GORGEOUS strawberry sapphire and diamond ring! That helped bring a smile to my face. We're in our new home and that's a gift in itself. But, I can't help but feeling that lonliness for my brother. Dangit, I'm still so upset with him. Last year at this time, I couldn't wait for him to be home so his son and my sons could spend Christmas together this year. However, that just wasn't in the cards. It's been 19 days since that night. It's been 21 days since I've talked to him. I'm emotional. But, I'm trying so hard to be strong. This was all his doing. This was his deal. He knew what his actions might bring. And he chose that path anyways. I tell myself that everyday and it still hasn't brought me any comfort. Oh goodness, I could go on and on. I'm not. I love you, Dallas. I think about you daily. I'll miss you Christmas day, little brother. And I'm sorry this is what your life has become. But, I'm going to enjoy Christmas day with my husband and babies. Just know that I'm thinking of you......